I am a big believer in the thought that you control your own destiny. While I do believe that each of us is destined for certain things, I see it as more of a loose pattern. Yes, we are supposed to go from A to B, but it is how we get there that we have control of. And not just how we get there, but how quickly or how slowly. Unfortunately, there are a lot of times when we are delaying our progress just by the way we are thinking. In essence, we are holding ourselves back from greatness and from our destiny. I think that there are a lot of times that we do not even realize that we are doing this detrimental thing to ourselves. I know that I am guilty of it, even though I try to be conscience of it on a regular basis.
Here are some of the things that I have identified in my life that you might recognize in your own as holding you back.
1. Being scared of change. It is easy to get comfortable in doing something the same old way, day in and day out. But with comfort you sometimes get fear. Fear of change specifically. Sometimes we need to recognize that just because something has always worked for us in the past, there could be another more efficient way to do things.
2. Underestimating you. How often do you want to do something but do not because you think you cannot? Instead of thinking you can’t do something, you should think “I can try.” Most times, you will find out that you can indeed do whatever it was that you though was out of your reach. I recently took some graduate level finance classes that I had put off taking for sometime, even though I really wanted to take them. Why did I do that? Because I didn’t think I was smart enough to grasp and handle the work. I finally realized I should just try it. Guess what? The class was difficult for me and it kicked my butt on a daily basis. But you know what? I learned a lot more from it than I thought I would AND I got an A in the class. I could do it all along, I just underestimated me.
3. Failing at something is not a bad thing, contrary to what we tell ourselves. It is easy to fail at something and then label ourselves as worthless. It is also easy to leave whatever that thing was to the wayside and not ever try it again. What we do not realize is that with failure comes knowledge. Lessons can be learned from failures that leave you stronger and more knowledgeable that you were to begin with.
4. I am no more unique than anyone else. This is a silly way of thinking because we know that each of us has something to offer that is unique and special. Sometimes, we can only see the unique and special in others and fail to realize that we have something just as great to offer the world.
5. No one cares if you succeed or fail. Remember that you are a someone and that YOU care if you succeed or fail. You do not have to have a family or a significant other to cheer you to the finish line. You can cheer yourself to the finish line. And really, it is most important to have you on your side.
6. If only you could have done that when you were 20. Age discrimination is not legal for employers, so why are you practicing it against yourself? Age truly is only a state of mind for the most part. Sure, being of a certain age group may present some advantages, but you can do anything you want no matter what age you are. Using age as an excuse is just another way of holding yourself back and preventing you from fulfilling your destiny.